Monthly Archives: December 2013
This is a continuation of our discussion on infidelity and family leadership.
Here is a brief recap:
The family unit is the foundation of every society and must be protected from
within and without. A close look at family dynamics reveals that protection from
within is most vital and that the heads or leaders of this vulnerable unit need
the wisdom to make healthy choices. Obviously Infidelity and Related Sins are
not part of these choices. Therefore, family leaders guilty of these bad behaviors
lie a foundation for disaster. Such heads of the family lack morals and
integrity among other desirable leadership qualities and they should not expect
or demand respect or loyalty from family members no matter their status in
society or the culture they cling onto.
The era for getting away with such practices is over. The focus was on men who are more likely to violate this trust and cause undue hardship to innocent members of the family and society at large.
Today my focus will be on women who have now become major bread winners and family heads globally. How are they handling their new roles especially in the face of the current epidemic of Infidelity and Related Sins (I & RS)? Are they also partly the cause of this crippling family dysfunction? Let us look at some facts and figures: The popular trend worldwide about family leadership is that women are taking an upper hand as breadwinners for various reasons, including their increasing acceptance and participation in the job market as a result of proven track records in every aspect of life, especially their positive role in the family.
On the other hand, how much are they contributing to family dysfunction in the area of
infidelity and related sins (I & RS)?
In this article I will only identify the existence of female infidelity in different societies and in subsequent articles I will delve into some of the reasons for these bad behaviors by both men and women.
So, just as it is evident that men are most likely to be unfaithful, how true is this of women? While there are no hard statistics on female infidelity, most experts believe that this bad behavior is on the rise especially among women who are successful in their careers and have a degree of financial independence. On the other hand, poverty can drive women into promiscuity and we will talk about these factors later. Lately in the media, there are constant stories of cheating husbands and the deadly resulting consequences, but there is also a bigger story on the rising number of unfaithful females especially, for women under 25 and older than 60. For male infidelity, it is estimated that over 50% of men will cheat in their lifetime and this has been a steady fact, but it is even more unfortunate and most troubling that female cheating is on the rise and may one day catch up with men.
Some researchers believe that what is rising is not the rate of female infidelity but the awareness of it. In the past, infidelity has remained a very hidden behavior for women, (compared with men) mostly due to fear of consequences if discovered. Such punishments include: beating, mutilation, ostracizing, and killing by brutal means, from strangulation to stoning. In some developing parts of the world, women who commit adultery are
forced to wear scarlet letters or decried in the public town square. In such communities, a separated or divorced woman is a social misfit. Growing up in such an environment, I remember witnessing how hostile and insecure most wives were if they saw such women talking to or socializing with their husbands during parties or social gatherings. They regard such as scandalous and did all they could to discourage that, including direct verbal confrontation with the women. While not necessarily considered admirable, female infidelity is not widely condemned in the western world. As more women engage in infidelity, the question is: does this kind of “equal opportunity” really benefit women and those they love? In my experience, families most caught in this confusion are ‘African families in the Diaspora’ (African families living outside their motherland). The conflict of culture and double standards about sexual freedom are tearing families apart. The cost of “bad behavior” by heads of families is becoming unbearable financially and otherwise.
I will be exposing some bitter realities people and society are “silent” about in my subsequent blog articles. Don’t forget to follow my blog so you won’t miss them. I welcome comments, feedback and insights.
Dr. Mother Love