The Case for Marriage and Family

Marriage is a good thing and family is a blessing. That is how it was intended to be from the beginning. But what has changed this concept? Why do some people see marriage as a burden rather than a blessing? Why am I making this an issue now? Do we not have enough information, advice, tips, and insight? If all these resources are not making a difference, why bother? These are legitimate concerns and questions, to which I have helpful responses.

We started a brand New Year and many of us included giving more time and attention to ourselves, our relationships, and our families in our new year’s resolutions. So I want to make sure that we are still on track. I emphasize my resolve and support for preserving and protecting these vital aspects of our lives. Any sacrifice, energy, time, and resources that we put into these two entities are an excellent investment, whether the returns are obvious or not. This may sound funny, unreasonable, or in specific cases hypocritical, given current trends.

Recently, I asked myself this question: What is the most important thing in one’s life? A recent study showed about 85% of the responses mentioned ‘family,’ followed by ‘God,’ then ‘relationships.’ Family starts with a relationship and this develops into family. When a relationship is strengthened and sealed by marriage, and both parties unconditionally commit to this vow, a solid foundation is set. The good news is that most people enter into marriage with great intentions. These intentions are to be kept alive and fresh by combined efforts at being able to stay connected and engaged with each other at all times. Rather than becoming defensive and hurtful when problems arise, some married couples “pepper their disputes with flashes of affection, intense interest, and mutual respect,” according to Gottman, a marriage expert. He describes ‘marital masters,’ as “folks who are so good at handling conflict that they make marital squabbles look like fun.” Having a sense of humor diffuses the tension and at the same time gives the intended message that must be received with love, gratitude, and a resolve to improve the next time. Therefore, those who feel negatively about marriage and family should not be discouraged. There is help and hope.

No two marriages or families are alike. Each is unique and should be handled as such. If we bear all these facts in mind at all times and keep hearing them over and over in different forms and from different sources, we may become more aware and focus on them all year long. This is why we are reminded of them now and we must keep our focus on marriage and family strong and steady until it becomes second nature. Then and only then can we see the need to protect our marriages and families from all attacks, known and unknown, from within and from without, not giving any room for our selfish tendencies to creep in and cause havoc.

Remember that the greatest demonstration of love is capping your wings so that others can fly. At last you will realize that you really did fly to your greatest heights. What is good is worth being preserved. Marriage and family are good and must be protected and preserved as much as possible. Protect them fearlessly, faithfully, and frequently, but not at the risk of your own life and sanity. Be fair to all concerned including yourself. Be in constant touch with your conscience and you will surely enjoy enduring peace and fulfillment.

Good luck!
–Dr. Mother Love