Monthly Archives: April 2014

A Positive Family Front and Tears of Joy Network

Hello everybody,

This is Amara, your Doctor Mother Love, The Infidelity Doctor.

Today I’d like to call your attention to another vital issue: my proposal to form a positive front that will aim at stopping (by confrontation with truth and love), the vicious cycle of evils that occur in our families and societies. Let us address one evil at a time. This may or may not be a detour from my main topics of interest: sexual irresponsibility in relationships that cause dysfunction in families and societies globally.

Those who know me well can testify that I have dealt with many experiences in my life around this subject matter and have  survived all of them. Having been strengthened and empowered by these experiences, I am using the pain I sustained as a stepping stone to roar beyond expectations in order to help other people turn their sorrows into tears of joy.

My memoir, Letters to Men, will be coming out in the summer of 2015. I thank God for social media. It gives everybody the opportunity to share what has been bottled up in us but could not have been exposed (as an awareness process to end evil). Otherwise, we would have taken these life experiences to our graves like others before us. We have no excuse now to keep suffering and dying in silence. That era is over! But let me sound a warning note here: most good intentions in life are used and abused. So social media would not be an exception to this experience. A lot of garbage is out there on the Internet, but it does not take away the good that technology has provided us, especially for the voiceless in disadvantaged situations globally. Let us focus on the good and ignore (but be aware of) the bad.

I always pray daily to God: “Father, help me to form the habit of highlighting people’s virtues and diminishing their vices, no matter the pressure to the contrary.”

This blog is my outlet for all that has bothered me–all that I see destroying our great human society–that has been bottled up within me for over fifty years of my adult life. Thank God that I did not explode before this social media opportunity!  Luckily I am now in a society and in a mode of life where I can speak and act freely. I must make sure that I speak the truth in love without any fear or any intention to judge, insult, demean, or ridicule anyone, anything, or any culture. The truth is bitter but must be spoken, faced, and acted upon if a change must come. So all I bring up in my blog is the bitter truth as I see it. I may not be always right, but that is my opinion. Please communicate your points with an open mind, dignity, and respect for yourself and those reading your comments.

Back to today’s message. Recently I was researching for my book when I came across an open letter from Iyabo Obasanjo to her father. As I was writing one to my own dad of blessed memory (the content is very different from Iyabo’s but the concept is similar), I was impressed by the boldness and honesty she expressed. Please go and read her letter. After reading this letter, I started wondering whether we could use this example as a means of communicating to our parents and loved ones how we feel about them, good or bad. We may not make it open or publish it, but we can send it to the person it is meant for (if still alive) or use it as a healing therapy, or both. I have written some to my late father and others, and these letters will be published in my book. After I finished these letters, I felt better inside and outside. I was not expecting this result, but I am amazed and I love it. Maybe many people, young and old, can identify with this great experience.

I always love to use my pain as a means to bringing joy to others, which has occurred with my Tears of Joy (TOJ) Network. My goal is to form a Positive Family Front Network (PFF Network) as a platform for people to confront their offenders by speaking, writing, or somehow expressing and exposing their pain. This may result in dialogue leading to forgiveness and a reconciliation processes. In many cases, these offenders are ignorant of the pain they caused, as it was the only way they were raised: mostly in many cultures, harshness, selfishness, ego protection, greed, and more are the only ingredients for the survival of the fittest and crudest. That era is over and those crude cultures must go. This is why there is an urgent need to review all cultures so that we can put them in their proper categories: those to treasure, those to trash, and those to transform for better life for generations to come.

In my next blog post, I will outline the plan for my Positive Family Front Network. I may even contact Iyabo Obasanjo to join us in this Front. Join in the call to action.

Until then, have a wonderful Easter or Passover and Spring, as we look forward to a fantastic Summer of 2014.

This is Doctor Mother Love, The Infidelity Doctor.

P.S. Later, I read another article saying that Iyabo Obasanjo denied writing that letter to her father. In my humble opinion, the content of that open letter was too detailed and personal to be faked. Whatever the case may be, we will use that concept of communication creatively since that letter speaks for many of us. Solutions to our family and societal problems may be achieved in the process.

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