If I was asked about my reaction to the sexual abuse allegations against Bill Cosby, this is it: shock, anger, disbelief, and confusion! As woman after woman has come forward to accuse him, I just ask myself whether it is real or made up and how can all these women make up similar stories against the same person? They are talking about everybody’s favorite actor and comedian; the TV icon of family values, the women’s doctor, the cook, the dad, the loving husband of attorney Claire Huxtable. What is happening to this great role model?
Until these allegations surfaced, Bill Cosby was my idol of a family man, both in his TV role and in real life. I have always read about his stand for family values, his encouraging messages to young black men about responsibility, and his love and promotion of education and moral values. Are we really talking about the same man? I cannot even imagine that he can be implicated with anything to do with being rude to any woman, not to mention assault and rape. He is the last person I can associate with infidelity, and we are talking about the rapes of several women! Can all these women be telling lies? I wonder!
Why is he silent even when his integrity and legacy are at stake? Why would he have financially settled some earlier accusations if he was innocent? Why would he watch in silence as his sitcom and life shows were cancelled?Why did he resign from the chair of the board of directors of his Alma Mater because of unfounded allegations? It is sometimes true that the best answer to a fool is silence and as he maintained, according to his attorney that he would not dignify those lies by responding. He also was not going to take any legal action against those women, as they have nothing good to offer and nothing to lose by telling lies in public. Are all these women ‘gold diggers’ or paid to ruin this legend of a black man? Am I his only fan smelling this ‘rat’?
As this controversy heats up with more women coming out with similar accusations, the shock of his implication keeps generating mixed feelings, responses, and reactions. For now, they are only allegations until he is proven guilty. Some people tend to jump on the band wagon of unfounded rumors. Let us be careful and be fair to all concerned. This is the right thing to do.
On the other hand, I have seen so many prominent men, (politicians, clergy, heads of nations and corporations), involved in all kinds of embarrassing sexual affairs. If Bill Cosby is really guilty of these allegations, I can endure it because he is not the first role model to disappoint me or the public and may not be the last. We will deal with the shock and disappointment and move on.
I know that we are still in a man’s world and in most societies and most cases men get away with sexual abuses. Sometimes I wonder why some men who can afford to get all the sexual satisfaction they want legally and cordially get involved with rapes and run the risk of losing all they worked so hard for: family, fame, friends, funds , and faith! Any explanation of such poor and bizarre choices? Is it wickedness, weakness, selfishness, ignorance, confusion, helplessness, or lack of self-control or insight about the associated consequences? Are some external forces like drugs, alcohol, or societal pressures and demands implicated in this behavior? I know that ‘absolute power and wealth corrupt absolutely’.Is this the situation in Bill Cosby’s case?
Whatever the reasons, I feel sorry for the victims of sexual assault. I urge such victims anywhere to come out and speak up once they are sure it is the truth. It is necessary to expose the hypocrisy and cleanse the societies of this epidemic of sexual irresponsibility.
Sometimes, sexual assault cases make headline news because of high-profile figures involved. A sexual assault act happens every 12 minutes globally and the frequency is more in remote areas and societies where women and girls are helpless, hopeless, and voiceless. Most of these assaults are therefore never reported and the offenders continue to live in the communities and inflict more harm to unsuspecting victims.
But things are changing. Just as Ebola and HIV/AIDS have been attacked and to some extent controlled by global efforts, this sexual abuse problem will soon be dealt with, no matter where it is taking place. Globally, though slowly but steadily, women are being empowered to speak out, protect themselves, and get out of the economic conditions that expose them to abuse. That era of silence is over. The future is bright for women and girls.
This is my message to all, especially to those men out there who have the heart and nerve to abuse women: any person, culture, religion, or society that does not protect the dignity of a human being is overdue for overhaul. Men should learn their lessons from these prominent abusers falling from grace to grass because of Infidelity and Related Sins, (what I call I&RS). I will continue to raise this vital awareness about the deadly consequences of our gross societal sexual inhumanity until change is achieved.
Can you imagine these forms of abuse of innocent girls in some parts of the world: a ten year-old girl had a baby by C-section. Of course her female organs were not well developed yet for a natural delivery. She was still a baby herself but a man was responsible for this pregnancy!
An 11 year-old girl with Down Syndrome was raped by three men. She was yelling with pain and that was when people ran to rescue her and got the men arrested.
A 14 year-girl had no choice but to figure out a way to poison her 54-year-old husband when she could no longer take the abuse. She was the fourth wife of a Muslim man. She was serving the family but also starving to death with her six-month-old baby, the eighth child of the family all living in a crowded three-bedroom house.
If we allow such heinous sex crimes to continue in any part of our global society, then we are part of the problem. This is not the legacy we we want to inspire generations to come. It is our responsibility to make things right.
In conclusion, as the saying goes, “as a man makes his bed, so will he lie on it”, especially in his golden years. If Bill Cosby made his bed with hypocrisy and public deceit, so will he lie on it, watching his legacy go up in flames.If he is innocent of these allegations, he should relax, continue to enjoy his golden age in peace and ignore his accusers and the media. For now, Bill Cosby still has my admiration and respect.
–Dr. Mother Love